Infernal Boys
by caitielynnlynn
Summary: Tessa and Jem are in love, but what happens when Tessa has two loves? Haven't read Clockwork Princess yet, so picking up after the end of the second book! Rights belong to Cassandra Clare.
1. Chapter 1

William Herondale sat by the window, brooding as usual. I watched him, only half listening to Jem. I was currently studying his dark curls and beautiful blue eyes, filled with sorrow and longing._ Don't think about him. You are marrying Jem._ I shook the heavy feeling off of my shoulders. Jem was beautiful too, in his own way. His eyes were bright silver, looking into mine with intensity. "Are you alright, Tessa?" He tilted his head to the side. "Fine, just tired. Didn't sleep." It was true. I had been in Jem's room listening to him talk and filling the hours with kissing. No one kissed like Jem, he put his whole heart and soul into the kiss. Jem smiled at me, my cheeks flushed slightly. He grabbed my hand. "Ahem. I would like to use this moment to tell you to get a room." Will spoke with surprising bitterness, but Jem didn't seem to notice, or care. "Couldn't have said it better myself." He stood up, pulling me up with him. Will made a sour face and turned back to the window, studying the foggy morning outside.

Jem pulled me out into the hall, making my dress swish around my ankles. He whirled me around and pulled me close to him. His chest was warm, I was content to stand there in his arms. He looked down, whispering into my ear. "I love you." I felt my heart leap, like always. Instead of answering, I snuggled closer to his chest. We unraveled and Jem led me down the hall towards my room. I grabbed the knob, and he pushed me in. The door had barely closed when Jem grabbed me by the shoulders and kissed me. I was on my tiptoes, feeling like I was floating. I could feel myself melt, falling forward into his silver eyes. He wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me even closer. I reached up around his neck, clasping my hands together. Jem's soft hair caressed my hands. It was nothing like Will's, he had hair that you wanted to run your hands through. _NO! I can't think about Will. It's not fair to Jem._ Jem pulled away, and I let out a small moan of protest. "Something is bothering you, I can feel it." He looked into my eyes. "I promise that I am just tired." I hated lying to him. "Get some sleep." He said, in a sweet and loving tone. He kissed my cheek, the picture of a gentleman. The door closed behind him.

It felt like my heart was split in two. I loved Jem, he was a good guy. Nice, strong, supportive. Always patient, knowing when to give me space. Jem, who gave me fuzzy feelings like I was finally at home. And, Will. Precious Will, beautiful and rude. Arrogant, and perfect. With secret passions and needs to push you away. I couldn't shake the look he gave me when I told him I was marrying Jem. The hurt in his unfathomable blue eyes twisted my stomach. If Jem induced warm, fuzzy feelings, Will was an inferno of desire. His kisses were urgent, passionate, and desperate. It made me feel like I was being devoured by ice and fire, pleasant and addictive._ I shouldn't feel that way about Will, we both knew that I was with someone else, his best friend._ I flopped on my bed, feeling exhausted to the core. Nothing would make me feel better at this point. "Knock, knock." His voice twisted me, Will walked in. The rare sun streaming through my window lit him up, his mischievous smile and dark curls. I had the urge to pull him close and... and... _I couldn't do this. It is killing me._ "You left your book, figured you would still be busy." There was a small pause before he said busy, he knew that Jem and I had been kissing. "Thanks, I was going to come and get it soon." I wasn't . I was such a liar now.

"You look tired. Shouldn't you be sleeping and not reading?" He had gotten less snappy. Almost like he didn't have the time or energy to yell at me or come up with witty remarks. He had been vulnerable and I had crushed him_. He crushed you too, remember? You cared and he just pushed you away._ That memory made me hurt, I tried not to show it. "I don't see how that is your business." I knew that I had dark circles and as much vigor as a corpse, it was obvious that I hadn't slept. "It is, because I care about you." His facade broke, showing the blue-eyed kid inside. "Tessa, why won't you see that you will never stop being my business? I will care forever." He stepped closer to me. I stepped back, my wall pressing close to me. Nowhere to go. He stepped forward again, putting his hands on other side of me. I looked at the ground, ashamed to feel the rush of blood that came from his closeness. My heart pounded crazily, traitor. I lifted up one of my hands, to stop him. Will was too quick, he leaned in. He struck my lips like a viper, quick and hard. His lips fit into mine, like something clicking into place. My hand was stuck between us, and I ran it up his chest, resting on his shoulder. My other hand gripped my chair, trying to find something solid in the crazy whirlwind. It was just Will and I, the world disappeared. I had started to kiss back, and ran my fingers through his hair, feeling the crazy curls that I had missed so much.


	2. Chapter 2

_Oh, I am in so much trouble._ It had been so hard to pull away from Will's kiss. We were stuck together like magnets. He was sitting on my bed staring at one of the bed posts with a small smirk on his face. I was close to tears. I didn't want to kiss him, well maybe I did just a little. I tapped my fingers on my desk, trying to figure out a way to keep him away from me. "Tessa, you can't say that the kiss didn't leave you breathless. We are meant to be together, I am sure Jem would," I wasn't sad anymore, I was angry. "What? Jem would what? Understand? This would crush him, and I am so weak around you that I can't even say no. You had your chance, and I am with Jem now. This can't keep happening. I love Jem." I wanted to yell and scream and cry. I wanted to throw my heaviest book right at Will's head, he just made this all so complicated. Will stood up, looking at me with those blue eyes. "I should leave. We do need to figure this out though, I can't control myself around you." He left, slamming the door behind him. I muttered to myself, "Maybe he needs better self-control. I know that I don't have any."

I was alone now. I waited for the tears, but they didn't come. It has been so crazy lately, Nate's dead, Jessamine is gone, Jem and I are getting married, Will is finally showing interest, Charlotte is pregnant. It seems like life has been speeding on by. I still wanted to yell, but the urge had to wait, a slight tapping was barely audible over my inner ranting. "Come in." I said, still pacing. It was Sophie. She had a small smile on her face, "I ran a bath for you." I followed Sophie, letting my mind wander._ Where was Jem? Not kissing Will._ I felt a stab of guilt, I was not even trustworthy. I lowered myself into the lukewarm water, it rose up around me giving me momentary relief. Sophie laid out a dress for me. I wanted to tell her, but she wouldn't understand, and if she did she would hate me. I just wanted someone to not hate me. Sophie was my fall back. Will was mad at me, _that's a real shocker._ If Jem knew, he would be mad at me. Jem might know, Will might have told him. It seemed like something best friends would share, although there is somethings friends aren't supposed to share. _Like me._

Sophie disappeared after I got dressed, my stomach rumbled, but I didn't feel like eating. I felt sick. Sick and disgusted at myself, I could have stopped Will. My hands wouldn't let me, and then I actually kissed him back. I flopped onto my bed, landing on the book that Will had given me. I threw it at the wall with a sigh of frustration. I just wanted to sleep, not that sleep came easy. My hair had damp ends, making my pillow cool on my hot face. The tears finally came. It was a simple drop rolling down my cheek at first, a silent screaming. The lump in my throat felt like a hot coal, and I began to sniffle. Soon it was an all-out bawl, and I had to clench my teeth onto my pillow to muffle my sounds of self-pity. I cried until my eyes were puffy and sore, and my throat was scratched beyond repair. I stared at the ceiling until I fell into a restless sleep.

I was awake but all I heard was discarded whispers,_ "How long?" "Are you sure?" "Is she?" "Could it have been?"_ Tentatively, I opened my eyes, and winced. Crying had made them sore and sensitive, the light through my window was painful to see. Tears sprung to my eyes. Jem was asleep in my desk chair, which he had pulled over to my bedside. His hand rested on my mattress, I took it and held it._ I don't deserve to have you, I am pretty lousy._ I looked at his beautiful face, light and shadow fighting on a silver canvas. I sat up, making something squeak. The next thing I knew Jem's eyes flew open, and his hand gripped mine, "TESSA?" He said, flicking his eyes to me. "Yes?" Jem rocketed out of his chair, making it tip over and thud onto the floor. He leaned over my bed, looking me over. He kissed me, it was a shock. Jem was pressed to me, closer than close. He left my lips and kissed my forehead, my eyelids, my cheeks, my chin, my neck. He was pelting me with kisses. "What's all this about?" I said, his long hair brushing my face. "Don't you know, Tessa? You have been asleep for days. We began to think you wouldn't ever wake up."


	3. Chapter 3

**This chapter is a bit short. I will hopefully have time for a longer one soon! Who do you like better together, Tessa and Jem or Tessa and Will? **

I couldn't believe it. I couldn't have slept for days. Jem was kissing me, hard. It made it impossible to concentrate, I grabbed his soft shirt, pulling him closer. He lost his balance and toppled onto the bed next to me, "Are you sure this is okay?" He asked, resting his hands on my waist. I nodded, smiling at his slight blush. He leaned in, but a knock broke our hopes of kissing. He sat up, "Come in." He was sitting on the bed edge and I scooted away a little. "Is she awake?" It was Sophie, she had a glass of water and I glanced at it. My lips parted, my voice sounded hoarse, "Could I have that water?" Sophie handed it to me. My hand gripped it, and in one gulp I drank the whole thing. It was cold and felt wonderful on my dry throat. Sophie took the glass and left. "Jem?" I said, reaching for his hands. "Why was I asleep for so long?" He shook his head, "I don't know, but you are up now. Don't worry about it." It was pleasant just to hold Jem's hands. He was a little cold, but nothing could rip me away from him, "Hey, time to switch off." It was Will. He just charged in, didn't even knock. Judging by his dark circles, he hadn't been sleeping very well. He looked at me, curled up next to Jem, holding his hands tightly. "What does he mean?" I asked. Will was staring at me, like I was a ghost. "We switch off watching you. He has been a great parabatai, helping me watch you." I'm sure that wasn't the reason. Jem was smiling at Will. "She just woke up." He said, standing up. "Are you leaving?" I asked, trying not to pout at the loss of Jem. "Yes, I need to change. I have been wearing these clothes for two days, I'm starting to smell." He smiled, "I will be back soon. Love you."

Will sat there, staring at me. "I'm glad that you are awake." He sounded clipped. Probably just being a snot like always. I flopped on my back, "Trying to fall back asleep?" He asked, jokingly. "Please don't do that again. You had everyone worried, we were close to calling the Silent Brothers." I shuddered at the thought of the terrifying faceless men. "I would not have liked that." He chuckled, "I read this to you." He said, tapping the book on my desk. He had picked it off of the floor. "Well, that means you ruined the end for me." I said, frowning at him. "It seems like I ruin everything. I guess I can't stop at ruining thing now." He stood up, walking closer to me. I scrambled to the edge of my bed. He kept getting closer, walking around the bed and coming to the edge I was now sitting on. I tried to scoot back to the other side, but he put his arm in my way. I tried sneaking past him, but he pulled me into a hug. Holding me tight, I tried to to melt. Being this close to him was turning my brains to mush. "I was really worried." He said, he pulled away, only to try and kiss me. His breath was warm on my lips as I spoke. "I'm quite thirsty, would you go downstairs and grab me some water?" He kept leaning in, "Please, Will?" He snapped out of it. Leaning out, he smiled. "Of course." He stood up and I could tell in the way he walked that he was holding back. I almost cried out. My brain yelled at me, it wanted me to kiss me. I felt like kissing him until my lips bled, but I loved Jem. Jem, he was my future.

Will came back with water and some lunch. I ate in silence. Will had almost talked a couple times, but he would clamp his mouth shut and make little sighs. I had finished by the time he spoke, "I have so many things that I want to say. I could probably start by saying that I am mad at myself for having no control around you, I am mad at myself for not trying harder to get you, I am mad at myself for pushing you away. I think that I don't deserve to be around you, or hold you close, or love you. I think that Jem is a lucky guy, and that if anyone could deserve someone as good as you it would be him. I can't help myself those, it feels like I am on fire when I am around you. Like you are the thing that will put it out." I knew that feeling. I never felt that much desire with Jem, he was sweet and perfect. But sweet didn't make me want to kiss him until my lips bled.


	4. Chapter 4

**Got one vote for Wessa as their favorite. I have to admit that they are probably my favorite too. I'm sorry that I can't think of the snarky side of Will. I stick to his vulnerable side through and through! This chapter is all about Will and Tessa, sorry to the Jem lovers! I will make it up to you, I promise ;)**

Will was sitting there, telling me about his feelings. I related to most of them, trying not to kiss him was like fighting against a hurricane. Resistance was pretty much futile at best. He sat there, talking. I found myself biting my lower lip, fantasizing about his kisses. Feeling each one as if they were real. With Jem, it always started shy. But Will leapt into his kisses pouring out his years of hurt and longing into the kiss. My soul craved it, and having him this close but yet so far was driving me crazy. "Tessa? Tessa, are you listening?" He said, waving his hand in front of my eyes, "Oh, figures. I finally announce my feelings and you can't even pay attention." My mouth felt chalky, "I was listening, but I don't know what to say. Jem and I are getting married, and I am not ready to sneak around on him like we have been doing. I am so selfish that I can't keep myself away from you. And I can't keep myself away from Jem, I really am torn between you two." Will's eyes lit up, hopeful. The wheels in his head were turning, "I know a way I can help you decide, he stood up and walked over. I wanted to move, but my body was glued in place. He leaned in, and he smelled so good. He put a hand behind my head, holding me like a porcelain doll. He was gentle, so gentle, "Will, I am not sick. You don't have to be soft." He made a noise at that, suddenly, he was next to me on the bed, pulling me to his lips so quickly that I got vertigo. My head was spinning, in a good way.

Everywhere he touched me there was fireworks, my nerves were livewires. His lips found mine, and if I was made of porcelain I would have shattered, he was pressing himself to me. I found myself trying to push away, trying to stop him, trying, trying. Melting, into a feeling as old as time. I was part of an age old instinct, desire that had been around forever. The need to love and to be loved. I was surprised that I wasn't a puddle on my bed when he pulled away and walked across the room. He stood as far away from me as possible, catching his breath quickly. He put up his stone walls, and I felt like crying. Oh, what had I done? "Will, I" He interrupted me with a loud _shhhhhhh!_ I leaned against my pillows, crossing my arms. He can't just be on top of me one moment and leave the next, it wasn't even fair. I tried to glare at him, but I was still stuck in intense desire. Soon, someone jiggled the knob. "Oh, this door." I heard a boot connect with the door. It swung open, Charlotte stood on the other side with a triumphant look on her face. "Hello, I heard that you were awake, and thought to check up on you. Are you sure you don't want me calling the Silent Brothers? They could check you, see if everything is alright." I shook my head vigorously. Their faces still haunted my nightmares, I didn't want to see them. Will spoke up, "She is fine, I am on Tessa watch and she hasn't even looked funny." Do I usually look funny? "Are you sure Will? She looks a bit feverish." My cheeks got hot and Will tried to hide his smile. "I will keep an eye on her. Where is Jem?" He asked, politely. "He had to help with something or another downstairs. Henry was urgent on the matter." She looked at me, "He wants to be with you as soon as possible." She gave me an overly kind smile and left.

I was alone with Will again. I let my breath out, not realizing I had been holding it. Quick as lightning Will was by my side, pressing his forehead to mine. "Not feverish at all." He said, getting closer. "You look beautiful in red. That blush suits you." I was sure that I was blushing again. _Why can't I help myself around you?_ I pulled away, "We can't do this Will. You know that. Who are we fooling? This isn't okay." He looked away, hurt on his face. "Why can't you see that it is perfectly okay? We were made for each other, and I love you. More than Jem ever could." I scoffed at him, "No, that isn't alright. Jem is better for me. You said so yourself." He smiled, "That doesn't mean he loves you more." Will kissed me, making my heart leap. It felt like he was right, we were made for each other. We molded together so perfectly, he couldn't be wrong. Well, he actually could be. This whole sneaking around thing is wrong. So wrong, I felt it welling up inside of me. The wrongness of this situation settled around me, I jumped back from Will, making him stumble and fall onto my bed. I got up and rushed out of the room, fighting of tears._ I was such a horrible person._


	5. Chapter 5: Final Goodbye

**HEY! **It's been a while. When I updated last, I started to read Clockwork Princess, and I saw the direction Cassandra Clare went with it, and it killed my flow for whatever reason, so this story won't be finished well, this is my goodbye for this story. There is no way I can continue with the story, I have no ideas, and it will be a huge fluff piece. So, my friends Tessa, Will, and Jem will not be here anymore! If you miss/want the ending, write one of your own and pm it to me, because I would love to hear how you think the story would have ended if I would have continued to write with it. I am closing it up and checking complete, but it wasn't completed. If you really liked it, I am sorry, I am just not into it anymore. And Clockwork Princess was good. Thanks for asking ;)

With love,

~Caitielynnlynn

_**The End**_


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